Saturday, August 13, 2011

Can a Girl Catch a Break, Please?!

So, I thought I'd check in with the general public that gets a good laugh at my life from time to time. The last 7 days have been 1 for the record books. Grab a drink & a snack and enjoy, not being me:)
Last Saturday, I was in MN attending my sister-in-law's big hog roast. I came away with 22 mosquito bites on one leg. I won't go into all the dirty details of the family drama. Let's just say, my husband and most of my kids don't like crowds, and this was a crowd.
Sunday, 9 hours in an '89 Lincoln with my youngest son, Ethan, basically sitting on me the whole time. Did I mention, at this point, I have a hang over. Oh yeah, had my first tequila shots the night before. Along with Hunter & Bethany begging me to get completely wasted & make a fool of myself so they can post videos. Everyone is crabby because nobody wants to be next to anybody, anymore!
Monday, I spent the whole day back to school shopping. My boss at the school tells me there might be an opening at another school that would earn more money. She didn't want to tell me, but she knew I could use it. I say, what the heck, I probably won't get it but I'll give it a whirl.
Tuesday, more shopping & my quilt guild meeting. I'd been pretty nervous about this meeting because I had to present the proposed budget. Last year's meeting did not go smoothly. The guest speaker said he wouldn't return because of it. I was expecting to have to defend myself with violence & street words... all for naught. Everyone was super reasonable! I also made some really gross peach salsa. Really. Gross.
Wednesday is usually my favorite day of the week. What's not to love about a day in a quilt shop? At 4pm, I'm offered a full time position at the middle school. What does this mean? I had to quit my favorite job of all time! I was so upset, I almost vomited. The catch is, school starts in a week & I can't give notice. Oh and can I start 9am the next morning for training.
Thursday came way too early. I trained at the middle school all morning & returned in the evening for the school walk through that students were having. My allergies were so bad that morning, that I spent most of the time sneezing my head off with eyes twitching like I was some crazed maniac! By the end of the night, my migraine was so bad that I had taken 3 rounds of medicine and it still wasn't gone! So, naturally I couldn't sleep that night. I also had to miss Hunter's senior picture session.
Friday was spent running errands, finishing school shopping, the list was enormous!!! I made an appointment for our dog Angel, to go to the vet. She has a cyst that was small but has become enormous while we were away on vacation. They can't see her till Monday. Rich was back to work, only to find out they've scheduled him for the next 14 days. By the end of the day, I couldn't wait to go to bed and be done with it. Could I sleep? No. I was up ALL night. Completely freaked out and depressed that I no longer work in a quilt shop. On the bright side, I realize we never had time to go camping while Rich was on vacation. Bonus.
Here's where it gets good. I had to get up at 6:30am to take the girls in for shots this morning. I'm not a morning person. It took forever & I was completely grumped out when we were done. While I took a nap, the girls decided to tie dye shirts outside. Dying the concrete around the house. Then, we dye their hair for school. Do they like it? No. Neither girl likes their hair. Sierra goes to the Fairview Heights Homecoming, gets naucious from her shot and vomits all over the place. Including on her friend. Meanwhile, I realize that You've Got Mail is a remake of The Shop Around the Corner, and it blows my mind! I put homemade meatballs in the oven while I take a shower. Bethany needs a ride to her friends house. Yes, it's 5pm & I haven't even showered. Don't judge me. As I come out of the shower, I realize there is blood all over my bedroom carpet. Angel's cyst is coming out of her leg all on it's own! Holy Shit! I'm going to be sick! At that moment, my meatballs are done and they are the exact size and look, exactly, like the thing that is coming out of my dog's leg!!!!! Nobody will be eatting tonight! I wrap it in guaze until Rich gets home to deal with it. I almost vomit on Bethany. Hunter claims he's got places to be. So, off we go to her friends house. On the way home, my cadilac breaks down on the I70. There I am, stranded, praying a semi doesn't kill me. So, Rich eventually comes to my rescue & sends me home in his car. Off I go, with hazards still blazing because I can't find the freaking button to turn them off....While Rich waits for the toe truck, it rains & he can't roll up the windows because the battery died. On the ride home with the toe truck driver, that Rich knows from the mechanic's shop, the guy realizes he knows our house from his childhood! And apparently, there is a slave tunnel in my basement behind wood and brick! He's seen it. Now, I'm going to have to dig up my basement to find that damn tunnel!
The good news, there can be only one me:D Sit back and relax and enjoy being you :D


JD said...

Damn, girl! You need a vacation, all on your own!

Dana said...

Good grief! Is everyone okay (including the dog)? I hope this week is a LOT less eventful!!!